Being professional - 2

The other day I was talking to a friend and lifelong student of magic, that recently decided to jump into the professional bandwagon.

We were discussing technicalities and trading stories and he showed me a report that he was going to send to a client.

I almost strangled him on the spot. The report was a photocopy of something he had wrote on a exercise book, with stuff pertaining to other clients strikethrough with a permanent marker.

After I finished scolding him, I picked up my USB pen and downloaded to his computer a  small file to be used as a report.
You can see it below.

I said :
_ Record every time that you work for the client. If you have to buy stuff, stapple your invoices to the repport._

He looked at me has if I was something out of twilight zone.

_Don't look to me like that_I said. _You are A PROFESSIONAL. The minimum that it is required is a professional report. And if you don't attach the invoices to it, they will suspect you.

Being professional-1

Inominandum (Jason Miller) wrote a great post about being a professional magician.

http://www.inominandum.com/blog/?p=1044

Some of my magic friends were shocked when I decided to become professional.
They felt that I was defiling The Art and that I should stop doing it.

But the truth is that I won't do it. Not because of the money, because I could earn the same or more if I had chosen another activity for my second source of income.

No.
I will keep doing it for 2 main reasons.
1 - It is a way to develop my magic. It is a challenge. Although 90 % of the people want to get laid, get rich or get even, the other 10% are often surprising ( and difficult).
2 - I get to help people.

If you're interested in doing it because of money, forget it. You can earn more doing other stuff.
If you're into this because of the glamour (look at me I'm so cool, I'm a professional magician), forget it, unless you only want to sell love potions. If you want (or are able)  to do more be prepared. Doing some types of workings while simultaneously keeping your family and job safe is taxing. There is nothing glamorous about looking (and feeling) like death warmed over.

Think with you mind and with your heart, before taking this step.
And if you do, WELCOME.

Get out of your high horse, or life will do it for you.

A professional sorcerer is another professional that has to worry about the market. And if it is true that we have a set of tools that are lacking to most people, it is also true that if we are too squeamish, we starve.

90% plus of all the sorcerous work that the clients require is either “love” OR curses. I am squeamish (my friends would call it having a consciousness) and I don’t curse unless I have a good reason to do it.

Fortunately I have found my niche and I can avoid doing the kind of work that I dislike

My clients already know this and when they give my contact to other’s they usually tell them that. Imagine my surprise when an old client sent me an e-mail asking me to curse a business. I picked up the phone and called him.

He didn’t hate the people in the business, actually he considered them very nice people. And they weren’t his business rivals (he has a 9 to 6 job). And they weren’t doing any magic against him, but yet they were ruining his life.

Before I asked more questions he said :

_ Listen, let me show you. Will you have dinner with me and my wife, tonight?

_... Ok. What time ?

_ 9 p.m.

At 8h 00m p.m. I was already on his street and visited the business he wanted me to curse, an ethnic bar. After drinking a Coca-Cola , visiting the bathroom and scanning the place, I was still at a complete loss of why he wanted me to curse the place.

At 08h 45m p.m. I was at his house, and met his wife for the first time. Her face glowed when he said to her that I might do something about the business.

9 p.m. He asked me to look down from his window, and to do it every 10/15 minutes or so.

10 p.m. The bar had lots of people coming in, and the music was loud, but not too loud. I noticed that a lot of people bought beers and other stuff and went out to the street to drink it. Loud voices.

11 p.m. Everybody (or at least a lot of people) was on the street. The beer bottles were on the ground making piles, I had seen at least a couple of guys vomiting, the music was still loud, and several persons were on their cars, drinking and booming their own music.

11h 50m p.m. A rush in of the people outside.

00H 10 m a.m. The bar closed.  Those that had rushed in were on the street (I counted 40) with the bottles they have bought. The music from the cars was blasting. People were shouting at each other to be heard.

_Why don’t you call the police ? I asked.

_One of our neighbors did that and those sons of bitches beat him and his wife.

_ Ah…

04 a.m. The last two cars went away.

My client and his wife have to  get up at  06 a.m. everyday.

Although not doing anything against him that bar his ruining his life and the lives of people that live on that street. And yet the owners are nice and hard working people, that are liked by most.

I promised to help.

And I’ll have to find out a solution. I’ll have to find a way to make the sure that the obnoxious people go away, or else I’ll have to make the business go away.

And I think that I recognized one of the clients. Someone in this line of work.

A few problems for beggining professional sorcerers

I suppose that most of us started in an almost organic way. We did our stuff for us, expanded to family and friends and suddenly we had people requesting our help and offering money.

But the path to become a professional is not without bumps.

On my country, mages are like prostitues. There are no laws against it, but many people don't like it. And it is more comum to see a "mage"sued for fraud than to see a prostitute accused of anything.
Iif you work on the South of Europe, and you receive your payment in cash your biggest problem is usually to keep your clients happy. Buuuttt..., sometimes you want to do it in a completely legal way, and pay your taxes like the model citizen you are. Then you have a problem. Sorcerer, Magician;Witch are not recognized as professions. Your alternative is to register yourself as an astrologer, card reader and/or a worker in alternative medicine. Sometimes you can work with companies that provide that kind of services, and you pay a percentage to the company. However choose wisely. In the South of Europe the companies usually take from you an average of 30 to 35%  of what you charge to the client. On the North of Europe, more specifically in Germany companies with tarot/spiritual counseling hotlines will charge 40% of what you receive from the client, and if you organize a working by e-mail. they will charge 50%..

So, if you want to be a model citizen, choose wisely. Whenever possible work alone or with another professional sorcerer (or sorcerers).

Lazy clients

4 a.m.
My cell phone ringed like the world was about to end.
mshrpp, bvv, rrrbbb, Shit ! _I say.
I picked up the phone, saw what time was it and answered it.
_Hello?
_At Last ! _said a voice on the other end of the phone_ I thought that you were never going to answer that fucking phone ! ( a lot of words that I failed to understand). Fuck !
_Ok...The connection is very bad, Speak slower.
A ton of giberish on the phone.
_I don't understand. I'm going to hang up and call you back.
Dooon't you fucking han..._   click.
I got up, and cheked the phone to see the number that was calling me. One of my few clients in the US.
I usually don't give my cell phone number to any client, but  considering what he was paying me I made an exception.
Briiiing !
The cell phone ranged again.
I answered.
_Hello (insert whatever name you want here).
_Don't you ever fucking_
Click. I wasn't in the mood to hear him shouting.
Called him
_Hello (name).
_Did you just hang up on me ?_he asked in a puzzled voice.
_I will do it again if you don't stop shouting. Is that clear?
He spat the word like he was choking on it_ Yes.
_Yes what ?
_ I will stop shouting.
I coul feel him trembling with rage, fuming from the other side of the world.
_Ok. Now explain me s-l-o-w-l-y what is the problem.
_The fucking rings aren't working !!!
I had two identical gold rings made for him, and they had been seriously consecrated and blessed. In his line of work he needed some serious protection, so the idea was to use one of the rings one week, then use the other and let the ring that he took of to rest in water with salt the next week. That way every week one of the rings would be clean, rested and eager to protect him.
_Have you been cleaning the rings like I told you to ?
_YES.
I picked up my pendulum. The answer was NO.
For how long ? Two weeks? No.
Three weeks? No.
Four weeks? No.
Five weeks? No...
More than five weeks but less than six ? Yes.
_Fucking say something. I want my money back.
_Sure, I'll give you your money back, but first you'll have to clean the rings, and you haven't done it in more than 5 weeks.
_I DID.
_(name), you are talking to me. You can lie you ass out but you can't lie to me.
Click. He hanged up.

I wen't to the kitchen to make myself a cup of coffee, decided to drink it iced, and consulted the pendulum again.
Is any of the rings still able to offer him some degree of protection, however small ? yes.
His he using it ? no.
The phone rang.

_Hello (name).
_I am sorry.
_You should be.
Silence.
_I'm all fucked up...
_Take the ring that you're wearing and put it in salt and water for one day. Use the other. After a day, put the other ring to rest and clean in salt and water for two days. Use again the one you're wearing. Keep increasing the rest and clean up period of the rings for a day until both get one week of rest.
Silence.
_Ok.

_It is 04 30 a.m. You'll have to pay my emergency fee. Transfer 80 dollars to my account first thing in the morning.
Silence.
_Ok.


_Oh (name), one more thing.
_Shoot_  he said.
_If you ever dare to call me again at 4 a.m. without a very good reason, you won't like it. Instead of crapping blood, you'll be crapping something else.
_How do you know i'm crapping blo_
Click. I hanged up and went to bed.
Perhaps I could still sleep for an hour.

An Offer (2)

Come on people !


I still have 2 of the drawings. If people don't ask for it untill Friday they will return to their old price / 120,00 USD.

This is a one time only offer.

An offer

I am feeling very generous today.

I have decided to offer a magical gift to the first 5 people that ask for it.

People can choose between a magical drawing to atract money and another to get  laid more often.

The drawings will be sent by snail mail.

There is only a catch.

After a month of having the drawing those that receive it are required to post here the results.

Interested ?